Sunday, March 29, 2015

Cleaning out the closet

          It's that time of year, the time all of us who suffered through the cold, bitter, New England winter have been not so patiently waiting for. Spring has arrived! Spring is the time for renewal, and a time for change. Many of us use the arrival of Spring as a time to clean. A time to clear away the snow, the shovels, and the boots, and watch as flowers bloom and blossom.  To pack away the coats,gloves, and mittens and embrace the promise of warmer weather.  I love the feeling of opening the windows and airing out the winter months, letting the clean fresh breeze fill the house. I get a feeling of excitement organizing my closet, as I put away all of the bulky winter clothes and suddenly feel as though I have a brand new wardrobe in front of me. All of the dark, heavy clothes are replaced by bright, cheery ones. Each year I always find several items that have been forgotten about as they fell behind the thick wool sweaters. Have you ever found a shirt in the way back of your closet, that you forgot was there because it was out of sight and you overlooked it? How wonderful of a feeling to throw on that shirt and wear it as if you had just purchased it. Sometimes we are so busy focusing on people and situations that we fail to see other "shirts" that are in the back of the closet.

           I love Spring cleaning, but the one thing I forget to do every year, is to clean out my life. Yes, my life. Spring is a time to start anew, so why not leave those behind who are weighing us down? Those who no longer need to be a part of our "closet". I pride myself on my thoughtfulness and my kindness. I am the first to reach out to people, I am the first to send a card , to be there for someone in their time of need. To lend a helping hand, or a shoulder to cry on. I love being silly and making people laugh, because laughter truly is the best medicine. There comes a time where you have to look around and see who is willing to do these things for you. Who dries your tears? Who cheers you on from the sidelines? My mother always used to tell me to think of who I would call at 3 a.m. if I was stranded on the side of the road. Who would answer? Who would come to your aid? While the good hearted optimist in me would like to think everyone in my life would do this, sadly I know the truth.  It is in both the worst and best of times that people will allow you to view a different side of them. I have had several opportunities in my life to see people's true colors exposed, and for some it is not a shade I am fond of. I want to fill my life with bright, happy, positive people. I am no longer interested in having anyone or anything in my life  that doesn't make any effort to be a part of mine. Just as the seasons change, people change.Sometimes it so hard for us to see past who we want someone to be that we forget to see them as they are. People and situations change so that we can learn to let go. We can clean them out of our lives and make room for bigger and better things. What a wonderful thought that some of the best days of our lives haven't happened yet. The best is yet to come.

          Use this new season to make yourself a priority. Being selfish is the best advice I can give. Not selfish in a negative sense, but possess a selfishness that shines through in your strides to be the person you want to be. You need to make yourself happy before anyone else can. Being a parent requires you to be the best that you can be. Having children changes everything, and it is a change we are ready and longing for. Suddenly, this tiny little person will become the center of our lives. This child will look to us for love and support. Why not use this time before we have children to ensure that we are the best that we can be? Utilize this time to ensure that we can offer our child two strong, loving parents? Our child deserves to be the center of our  family, and our child will be. Everyday I am continuing to strive to be the best version of myself because I deserve it, my husband, family, and friends deserve it. Because our baby deserves it. This is a huge part of what to expect when you're NOT expecting.

           I am working on clearing out my "closet", my life, my mind. I have been working on focusing my time and energy on those people and situations that are worthy of it. Those people who have been there, in my corner, every step of the way. Getting married, we took vows, "for better or for worse", which is the most important to me. This should be the standard for all relationships in your life, with everyone important to you. It's those who stick by our sides and loved us when we felt as though we had nothing to offer. Those are the relationships that last, that are true and everlasting. Those are the shirts I have moved to the front and center of my closet.

So go ahead, grab the broom and partake in some spring cleaning. Sweep, sweep!