Thursday, December 31, 2015

To My "Net"

To My Safety Net,
     There is something so beautiful about being honest and open. Honest enough to share the parts of ourselves that we aren't the most proud of. The parts of ourselves that are deep within, that make up who we truly are. To share your fears, your weaknesses, and every part of you with others is a gift. This blog and this experience has provided me with ample opportunities to get to know the "real" me, the whole me. To test my limits, to push myself to levels of strength I did not know I was capable of. To learn more about myself. This year I got to know myself truly.And I was fortunate enough to get to share myself and journey with several people. These people helped make my year, 2015, one of the best yet. 

    As you read this, I want you to know how thankful I am. How thankful I was for this past year. Although this was not the year I became a parent, I got one step closer. I got stronger and better. Thank you for all of the memories that you brought this year. Today is the last day of the year, a perfect time to reflect and look back on all the year provided. There were some amazing moments, and naturally some moments I could have done without. But regardless, this year was mine. It was another 365 days of ups and downs, 12 months of learning and growing, and a calendar full of dates; everyday holding something that led us to today. This year you gave me a chance to get closer to goals. 2015 was full of losses, but also equally full of gains. My heart and strength was tested; relationships put to the test. 

     Once again I was reminded that life is a balancing act. It's like walking on a tightrope, each step gets you closer, each step meaningful of reaching the goal. Just like a tightrope, there is a safety net. A net that is there to help you if and when you fall. While I have gotten much better at the act of balancing, there were several times I slipped off and needed the safety net to save me. Luckily, my safety net is full of amazing people. People who have been there for me when I didn't even realize I may need them. You remind me that although there are bad moments, there are so many better moments. You are part of the reason I am who I am, and why I am better. You have helped me grow and become the person I am today.

The arms who hold you at your weakest, the ears who listen to not only what you are saying but more importantly what you arent saying. The faces that look at you and just let you know they are there for you, cheering for you every step of the way. It is okay to fall, okay to rely on your net to save you. And knowing the only place you can go is right back up to try again. It is alright to not be okay, to not smile and laugh. It is during theses moments , when you are at your worst, your weakest, that the people who matter the most step forward and help you. These are the people in your corner, in your safety net. These people don't attempt to fix you, just love you and accept you. They love you at your worst, and are there by your side at your best. While you are at your worst, they remind you of who you are at your best. 

Today, the last day of 2015, going into the New Year. I am still walking proudly across the rope, slowly but surely. Slow and steady wins the race they say. Knowing you will be there if I fall keeps me going, and knowing you have been and will be there is the best gift I have received. You are my people. You are the people that remind me of what is to come, what I am walking towards. You are the people in my "net". So although I may have gotten thrown off the rope a few times, I am back and slowly walking across again. Knowing that net is there if I need it is the reassurance I need to keep moving forward at times. The best thing about being on a tightrope is there is no turning back, only forward, step by step. So, 2016, here I come, one step at a time.