Warning: The following material may not be suitable for all viewers.
Well, it's not that serious or graphic but I thought I should still give some disclaimer to those who may not be interested in reading of the glorious side effects in my following rant.
I totally underestimated the pain that would follow this procedure. I honestly thought I would be up and back it the next day, relaxing and resting by the pool, posting those infamous pics everyone posts on Facebook and Instagram of their feet overlooking the pool. Instead, I been in bed since the retrieval last Wednesday, missing out on work (unpaid) and while not feeling well, freaking out over the amount of work missed and bills piling up. I am bloated. I am more miserable and uncomfortable than I can even attempt to put into words. I literally look as though as I could pass as being pregnant at the moment because I am so swollen and full of fluid. I was told my ovaries are four times the size they should be, and filled with fluid, so that would explain it. The only thing bringing me any comfort is a heating pad on my abdomen. Every movement I make is agonizing, I can feel the pressure literally moving within me. I am unable to urinate, only small amounts at a time, and when I wipe it is a horrifying shade of neon yellow. I am constipated and have never wished so hard to have a bowel movement in my life. (For someone with Crohn's disease this is something you never, ever, wish upon yourself) Last night I found myself sitting on the toilet crying at 3 a.m. and just when I was about to literally lose my mind, the episode of Seinfeld with George Constanza's dad screaming "Serenity Now!!!" and throwing his hands up in the air came to mind. Still crying, I began laughing so hard that I was now sobbing. (yes, while on the toilet) and took a note from Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA song," I threw my hands up" and in true Constanza style chanted "Serenity Now..." First of all, the walls of my condo are pretty thin and at this point I am certain my neighbor is going to think I am certifiably insane and/or a raging alcoholic who yells weird things in the bathroom at ungodly hours. But let me tell you, it helped. While I am still waiting for my serenity to be reached, I am just sipping on my Gatorade with my heating pad in place. Sometimes in the middle of pure frustration and agony we just need to be reminded to find serenity now.