Saturday, September 17, 2016

If I Know Then What I Know Now...

I am sure most of you have heard the infamous quote; "If I knew then what I know now." We have all probably thought it, said it, and most likely analyzed it. Using those words to figure out what we would have done differently. What situations and mistakes we could have avoided. There's no going back, and there are no magical erasers that can change our experiences. There are lessons that each situation presented us. Lessons to help us realize the person we are and the person we can be. The situations and mistakes we experienced may not be able to be changed, but how we are changed by it, how we come away from it is what is the real lesson.  

I wish that someone had told me that quote wasn't true. Instead of looking back and wishing things had been done or said or played out differently, I am focusing on what did happen and the impact it had. I instead what to write a letter to myself, reminding me that I have survived every difficulty so far and I will continue to do so. I can use every hard moment, every tear shed, to remember THEN what I already know NOW

Dear Me,
 I thought this letter may come at a good time as your birthday is this week. What better time than the day you entered this world then a chance to remember what you have accomplished since then? You are tough, you are strong, you are a survivor. You have a big heart and a genuine desire to help others. You have the ability to see the good in all, and to find a silver lining in every moment. 

This past year gave you opportunities to learn from. I hope that in the future, if you are struggling, you are able to remember. Remember these situations that happened this year, and how you changed from it.  You had hard moments, your marriage felt the stress of life's events and almost came close to the end. But instead you both worked together and made it even better. Remember that, even when something may be "broken", try to fix it first. Put every ounce of energy you have into fixing it, and if it is worth saving, it can be repaired to something even better than it originally was. 

You made the decision to leave your job, one you were comfortable in, but no longer made you happy. Remember that change is scary, but necessary. Change is better than regret. Letting go of things we know, things we think we need is hard, but holding on to something that no longer makes you happy is far worse.

 Remember that, remember that you can and should let go of anything and anyone who no longer makes you happy. As our lives change, so do our relationships, our friendships. Not all of these friendships and relationships will survive, but you will. Remember that each person played a part in helping you become who you are today. Understand and accept that not everyone will be there for you. Not everything will go as you planned. 

This year you enrolled in school and began working towards your Master's. Remember that you made the decision to make a change. You knew what you wanted, and are working towards it. You are the only person that can make that happen, and you will.

You are the only one in charge of how you feel. And I want you to continue to choose happiness. Choose to smile even when you want to cry. Choose to love and be loved. Choose to listen as much as you speak. Choose to be a good friend, and to keep those true ones close. Choose to let go of those who don't. Walk away from anything that hinders your happiness. Choose to put yourself first. It sounds selfish, but you need to be truly happy with yourself to be happy with others. Choose to work hard for everything you want, and you will continue to get everything you deserve. Continue to make those big changes, they have all played out well for you thus far. Continue to be you. 

Remember, right now, at this moment, you know what you need to. So, in the future, if you are faced with something difficult ,if I know then what I know now, you will be just fine :)

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